un: WHEATLEY - video

[testgasm]

[Having more-or-less adjusted to his new limbs (how nice, limbs, especially metal ones that don't squish), Wheatley finds himself a little smug, even if he's not entirely coordinated or entirely comfortable with this situation. He will pretend to be, and that’s what matters.

Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]

Check me out!

[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]

Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.

[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]

Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.

I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.

[Cough.]

Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.

Comments

un: susiezilla

[snarkattack]

Nice. Do you have enough fingers to flip the bird?

[Susie asking the important questions.]

[testgasm]

Flip the-- [Give him a second] --oh. Oh! Yes, I think so? If it requires an odd number of fingers. That is, four fingers, one thumb. Hang on.

[He--he's counting his fingers to himself.] One, two, three, four...and the aforementioned thumb...let's see--ha!



[Hooray! Now give him a second to realize what he's doing, and put it away, all flustered and stuff.]

Wait--wait! I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. That would be--that's rude. Sorry.

[snarkattack]

[Susie just laughs at that. A hearty guffaw.]

Am I the first person you flipped off? That’s great!

[testgasm]

[LOOK WHAT YOU MADE HIM DO!!!]

No!! No, it's not great, I don't want to be going around making rude gestures. I mean, thanks for--for being a good sport about it, but I probably won't do that again, if it's all the same to you.

video | skywalker

[unrepentant]

Wheatley! Congratulations! How's the view up there?
[He thinks he's so funny]


They look great- are they fully articulated?

[testgasm]

Oh, just--tremendous. I wasn't really programmed to know what I was missing, but, whew! This is a lot to take in.

[He likes to be tall.]

Seems that way! Couldn't tell you who built it, or uh, where it came from, but I'm not going to complain.

[unrepentant]

Yeah [A huff of a laugh] I wouldn't either.

Well if you ever need repairs you know who to call. But I'd be happy just to admire the craftsmanship.

How's walking been? Tried out any inclines yet?

[testgasm]

Yes! I did--I did have you in mind. Sorry if that's presumptuous of me. Doing my very best not to break it, right off the bat, but seeing as we just came from a train car full of dinosaurs, all bets are off.

The walking is...fine. It's going well! Better every minute! Taking it, uh. One step at a time. Both figuratively and--and literally, if you know what I mean.

un: ben | video

[onlyhope]

You can really say you're standing on your own two feet, now.

[ sorry wheatley, anakin had to learn it from somewhere ]

[testgasm]

Yes! Doing it right now, in fact. Two of them. No more speaking figuratively, in that department. All literal, from now on.

[onlyhope]

I am very impressed. I take it you're feeling alright? Everything moves as it should?

[testgasm]

So far, yes. I don't exactly have anything to compare it to, but everything seems to be functioning the way it's supposed to.

Didn't come with any protocols, so we're, uh. Learning to use it the old-fashioned way. It's a work in progress.

un: bombaf; video

[himbomb]

Nice legs!

[In this form, Wheatley looks a lot like the first thing Rex had ever blown up with his own hands- A robot, dorky and fairly sentient, who had been doing his best to explain how the little superboy's new powers worked. Ah! Memories. That's nostalgia for you!]

Can ya do the splits with 'em?

[It's a petty little challenge, but he is curious.

He's also testing a theory.]

[testgasm]

[He's squinting. All of this is very suspicious.]

I don't know. Probably. Not a very economic use of movement, though. Seems...unnecessarily dramatic.

[himbomb]

Really? Oh. I can think of a guy who fits that description.

[Like an irritating little gnat, Rex cartoonishly moves his index finger this way and that, almost having it land on himself, until he finally points it in the direction of his phone camera.]

...Like, aaaah..

You for example.

[he says... fixing his hair as he admires himself in the reflection??? sir, that is the definition of Drama]

[testgasm]

[Wheatley rolls his eye--he is exactly as dramatic as he needs to be, thanks, especially considering that until very recently he was at everyone else's mercy. The great thing about arms and legs is that he doesn't really need to play nice anymore.]

Okay? Get to the point, mate, I'm not going to waste my new body sitting around here and talking to you.

un: 000

[kahunanu]

oh. you evolved.

[testgasm]

no????

i just got plugged into a new chassis that's all

[kahunanu]

could be worse. good for you.

[testgasm]

what do you mean could be worse

@batman

[of_steel]

People can be jerks. :/ Congrats on the new limbs! Have you figured out how to do the robot yet?

1/2

[testgasm]

thank you!!! if i'm honest it's a bit of an adjustment but i have to admit i can see the appeal

[testgasm]

you do know that dance is a harmful stereotype right

[of_steel]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive!

Have you tried any other dances?

[testgasm]

it's fine just wanted to mention it

anyway i'm still working on the whole walking thing i figure i should master that first before i try anything fancy