un: WHEATLEY - video

[testgasm]

[Having more-or-less adjusted to his new limbs (how nice, limbs, especially metal ones that don't squish), Wheatley finds himself a little smug, even if he's not entirely coordinated or entirely comfortable with this situation. He will pretend to be, and that’s what matters.

Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]

Check me out!

[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]

Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.

[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]

Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.

I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.

[Cough.]

Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.

Comments

[testgasm]

[Wheatley doesn’t necessarily expect this, but he can’t exactly trust it, either. Despite his overall naïveté, he’s been around the block when it comes to humans, and knows better not to put any amount of faith in them, especially given his most recent attempt at cooperation. He’s still squinting, but perhaps he is a little surprised that this conversation is happening at all.]

I can handle myself, thanks.

[He cannot! But he’s also riding high on his new independence, so he’s not about to admit any of this out loud, or to himself, for that matter.]

The gesture is…it’s appreciated. But we’ll see how things go. Actions speak louder than words, and all that.

[Probation!!!!]

[himbomb]

Sounds fair to me!

[Probation works. The little robot would be right not to trust people off the bat, or at least, that's what Rex believes. Most of the passengers on this thing have been okay so far, but since the selection process has been quite random, the cantankerous fellow wouldn't be surprised if the multiverse had pulled in some professional murderers.

He had been one himself, after all.]

And, uh, can you? You're lookin' a little off-balance. Not that I blame ya! Balance-

[Rex does an unnecessary backflip for the camera, balancing all his weight with ease as he lands on his hands. Fucking showoff.]

Takes practice, robo-dude! It's aaaall in the core, which you don't seem to have got much of.

[testgasm]

I don’t need your help. I just said that.

[He rolls his eye at the unnecessary backflip, and manages to sound just a little hostile, like he’s putting his foot down on the matter.]

Perfectly capable of this. I'm all core, thanks very much.

[Personality core! Not that he's going to bother explaining it.]