un: WHEATLEY - video

[testgasm]

[Having more-or-less adjusted to his new limbs (how nice, limbs, especially metal ones that don't squish), Wheatley finds himself a little smug, even if he's not entirely coordinated or entirely comfortable with this situation. He will pretend to be, and that’s what matters.

Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]

Check me out!

[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]

Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.

[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]

Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.

I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.

[Cough.]

Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.

Comments

[testgasm]

you do know that dance is a harmful stereotype right

[of_steel]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive!

Have you tried any other dances?

[testgasm]

it's fine just wanted to mention it

anyway i'm still working on the whole walking thing i figure i should master that first before i try anything fancy

[of_steel]

I appreciate it. :)

Most people take months or years to figure out walking for the first time; I think you're doing pretty well! Try to take it easy and have fun.

Were you just sort of - stationary before all of this train stuff?

[testgasm]

no i got around on a rail you know on the ceiling

it was fairly effective

obviously not an option here so this is a welcome development

[of_steel]

That's pretty economical. My robot friend back home usually just floats everywhere.

What did you do before the train? In general, I mean. What's your home like?

[testgasm]

floating would have been nice now that i think of it but the rails were fine

i had a lot of odd jobs back home big underground research facility

looked after humans for a while did some tests

that sort of thing

[of_steel]

Oh, are you a scientist?

[ Please don't be an evil scientist, he's trying to make friends here. ]

[testgasm]

me? no no i wasn't a scientist

did help them out though

[of_steel]

A lab assistant (sort of)?

[testgasm]

sort of

i'm not sure the scientists would have used that title but they're not here so i can do whatever i want