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un: WHEATLEY - video
[Having more-or-less adjusted to his new limbs (how nice, limbs, especially metal ones that don't squish), Wheatley finds himself a little smug, even if he's not entirely coordinated or entirely comfortable with this situation. He will pretend to be, and that’s what matters.
Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]
Check me out!
[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]
Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.
[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]
Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.
I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.
[Cough.]
Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.
Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]
Check me out!
[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]
Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.
[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]
Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.
I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.
[Cough.]
Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.
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[The voice switches to video feed and Susie is giving Wheatley the good ole double-deuces.]
What the point in hands if you don't use them.
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[He is now thinking about all the things you can do with hands.]
Hold things. Hitchhike. Point at something you want in the store.
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[Yep, there certainly are many uses for hands. Which Susie is belatedly realizing how dumb this conversation is.]
So, uh. Congrats?
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But thank you, though, it's appreciated.
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How long were you going without hands anyway? Seems like an important thing to leave off.
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[He uses his BRAND NEW FINGERS to gesture to the number on his inner component. It's still like 800.]
It was harder to see when I couldn't get up and get in front of a mirror whenever I wanted.
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[Susie stares at the screen. She's still new but the numbers have been explained at least a little bit. She looks at the back of her hand which reads 194]
...How did you get a number that high?
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[Wheatley at least has a tiny amount of self-awareness. With the recent communication from the conductors that the goal is to get the number down, he's wised up to just how much work he needs to do.]
I don't really know how they get assigned. What the, uh. Criteria are.
[He's killed people and doesn't feel bad about it.]
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[Susie holds up her hand to show Wheatley her own number.]
I should be at least 300.
[On the flip side, the most evil thing Susie has done is probably shove a kid in a locker. But she FEELS pretty mean.]
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Why do you want your number to be larger? Don't you want to leave?
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[Technically, she'd like to go back to her friends, but Ralsei was here. Now if Kris shows up they'd be golden.]
There's a beach here. And endless Taquila Sunrise ice cream cones!
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[He guesses not! Wheatley wouldn't know, exactly.]
The beach is--the beach is not really a good place for me. Too much sand, gets in all your delicate bits. Threat of water everywhere. Plus, can't eat the ice cream cones.