Entry tags:
un: WHEATLEY - video
[Having more-or-less adjusted to his new limbs (how nice, limbs, especially metal ones that don't squish), Wheatley finds himself a little smug, even if he's not entirely coordinated or entirely comfortable with this situation. He will pretend to be, and that’s what matters.
Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]
Check me out!
[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]
Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.
[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]
Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.
I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.
[Cough.]
Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.
Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]
Check me out!
[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]
Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.
[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]
Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.
I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.
[Cough.]
Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.
no subject
[Like an irritating little gnat, Rex cartoonishly moves his index finger this way and that, almost having it land on himself, until he finally points it in the direction of his phone camera.]
...Like, aaaah..
You for example.
[he says... fixing his hair as he admires himself in the reflection??? sir, that is the definition of Drama]
no subject
Okay? Get to the point, mate, I'm not going to waste my new body sitting around here and talking to you.
no subject
[He seems unbothered by Wheatley's ire, aware that the little robot's irritation towards him is entirely his own doing. Wheatley's pluck is charming, and while Rex has been specifically designed to take out loads of potentially lethal robots in a matter of seconds, he would never dream of hurting this cute little rascal.
That is, unless he starts killing people. And that can't happen. Wheatley is too gosh darn adorable. He's just sassy! Not evil, right?
Or at least, that is what Rex believes.]
My point? Oh, oh! You meant that kinda point.
[🛑✋
✝️🙏]
I'm afraid I got nothin' pal. It's just nice to see you so geeked out about somethin'. I'm happy you're happy!
[Rex's tone is always the slightest bit impudent, but he means it. It really is nice to see Wheatley having a blast.]
no subject
[He's got a bit of a thing about being dropped and otherwise knocked around--doubly so if it's malicious. Despite the fact that now he knows this whole train ride is about self improvement, he still finds it difficult not to hold a grudge.]
Anyway, I'm not going to do a split.
no subject
[um... the jury's still out on that]
Or well, none as of recent, anyways! Look, look, look. If you've still got your wires all up in a bunch over me dropkickin' ya in the tavern, I get it! That floor was nasty. Are you willing to let bygones be bygones if I try and make it up to you?
Okay, okay, screw the splits. We're teachin' you how to do the stanky leg later. Y'know! So you can impress all your other ro-bros, wherever they may be.
[Rex has a bad habit of pissing off the wrong people, and Wheatley is no exception. What the young superhero sees as something of a game clearly rubs the robot the wrong way, although thankfully, he's been able to pick up on that. Rex harbors his own litany of deep-ridden insecurity complexes, so they're fairly easy to spot in others.]
What? So finally being able to walk doesn't make you wanna dance?
[rex... how is wheatley supposed 2 kno what the stanky leg is... he was invented by uncool nerds in the heart of a michigan laboratory (right whitt? god fuck)
pls cease talking over the poor round boi]
no subject
[And then he'll decide whether or not to accept the apology, is what goes unsaid.]
I'm not even going to--to entertain discussion of your weird human dance rituals until I hear those words, with some amount of sincerity, just in case you were thinking of skating by on a technicality.
no subject
[He absolutely does. Robot can be... Strict. Even though everybody mostly chooses to disregard him when they can.
These are all useful observations to be filed away. Wheatley has every right to be upset after being royally dunked on, but what the little robot does have in common with Rex's own Robot is that something about their mechanical forms, and what they can and can't accomplish, has left them riddled with insecurities.]
Look, buddy. See these hands? No crossed fingers.
[He raises both hands up in the air so that they are visible over the feed, palms facing the video.]
I'm sorry.
[He does mean the words, even if he is leering a bit.
What Rex also knows, and what he sometimes uses against his so-called best friend himself, is that robots, no matter how sentient or clearly thoughtful they are, are often discriminated against. Treated like things with no feelings, as if they aren't alive.]
I may crack a few jokes here and there, but hey! If you've got enough self awareness to get your feefees hurt, I don't care if you're a green glob of goop or made of metal, when danger's on your fucking tail I'll be there to pull ya out of it.
Promise. Pinky.
[He holds his own up- That much is sincere.]
no subject
I can handle myself, thanks.
[He cannot! But he’s also riding high on his new independence, so he’s not about to admit any of this out loud, or to himself, for that matter.]
The gesture is…it’s appreciated. But we’ll see how things go. Actions speak louder than words, and all that.
[Probation!!!!]
no subject
[Probation works. The little robot would be right not to trust people off the bat, or at least, that's what Rex believes. Most of the passengers on this thing have been okay so far, but since the selection process has been quite random, the cantankerous fellow wouldn't be surprised if the multiverse had pulled in some professional murderers.
He had been one himself, after all.]
And, uh, can you? You're lookin' a little off-balance. Not that I blame ya! Balance-
[Rex does an unnecessary backflip for the camera, balancing all his weight with ease as he lands on his hands. Fucking showoff.]
Takes practice, robo-dude! It's aaaall in the core, which you don't seem to have got much of.
no subject
[He rolls his eye at the unnecessary backflip, and manages to sound just a little hostile, like he’s putting his foot down on the matter.]
Perfectly capable of this. I'm all core, thanks very much.
[Personality core! Not that he's going to bother explaining it.]