UN: BOMBAF | TEXT

[himbomb]

do ya think they call it gruel cause it rhymes with "cruel???"

bc that's what bein forced 2 slurp up this shit is

or maybe it's the sound ur supposed to make when u eventually hack it up later, idfk

Comments

@5211543315

[agonise]

It's a Middle English word meaning 'meal'.

[himbomb]

fuck, really?

you're not just shitting me right now?

💩

???

[agonise]

Would I "shit" you.

[himbomb]

idk i mean theoretically wouldn'tcha have 2 eat me

first????

[STOP!!!]

@WHEATLEY

[testgasm]

you could aways just

uh

not eat it

[himbomb]

and DIE????? 🔪☠️⚰️⚱️🧟

just like that? say it ain't so, teat-ly!

[NO!!! NO, DO NOT RETURN TO THE BOOB THEME???]

[testgasm]

right i forgot you have to eat or you'll die how inefficient and depressing

i guess there's always birdseed

[DO NOT]

[himbomb]

u can't say that when u've never had a hoagie!! sure ig the whole food thing is kinda inefficient but GOOD food also fuckin slaps my metal man!

warm cheese???? on the perfect bun??? with the right slice of meat right thru the middle

cmooooon

if u ever get a lil attachable robo tongue, with the taste sensors n shit

[WHAT A CURSED THOUGHT]

u should try one

[testgasm]

i can certainly say that

i have no frame of reference for any of this so i don't actually feel like i'm missing out and honestly all that sounds kind of unpleasant

[himbomb]

i mean, you could probably also say that about the horizontal tango!

but, uh-gain

that shit fuckin s l a p s, dude!

sometimes even literally. actually, a lot of the time

remind me, uh, teats

[He's definitely just being awful on purpose.]

joy is a thing you can feel, right?

@nefelibata

[shiftybladesofcray]

throw your phone in the river

It'll be doing us all a service.

[himbomb]

awwwwh! it's my favorite unsexy librarian chick ☺️

[REX??? RUDE!!!]

now, now

if i threw my phone in a river who would be at the beck n call of all the damsels and motherfuckin dipshits in distress!!!

maybe invincible, but he'd probably just get carded and sent back home to his m o m m y 👶🍼 or his middle school

[he is... a highschool student]

hahaha

[Somehow that is even douchier??? "hahaha" ???

it's on site fam]

[shiftybladesofcray]

[UNSEXY?!?!]

SO THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY THINK, PIG? I'LL SCOOP THOSE ROTTING EYEBALLS OUT OF YOUR FACE SINCE YOU CAN'T USE THEM PROPERLY

[himbomb]

i had you pegged as one of those girls who lowkey didn't wanna b objectified

[Speaking of pegging? Toko could probably use a good old fashioned porkfest, and if Rex wasn't forming a peculiar sort of fondness for her, he'd openly suggest it. This network is public, however. Contrary to what most may believe, he does have some semblance of shame.]

y'know! 'cause you've got the glasses, the greasy hair! you like books and ur shirt's buttoned up all the fuckin way

unsexy! totally not the fantasy

but that's not what ur aimin for, so why get your knickers all up in a bunch about it, hah? knickers, panties, bloomingdales??? yeah wtf is that last one sposed 2 b

oh OHHHHHH

fuck it's bloomers, my bad

[He's not sorry at all.]

1/2

[shiftybladesofcray]

[Toko stares in boiling fury at her phone. What the fuck is all this

say this to her FUCKING FACE!!!!!!! SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!]

I DON'T WEAR BLOOMERS YOU STEAMING PILE OF NUCLEAR TRASH

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY UNDERWEAR ONLINE

OR EVER

2/2

[shiftybladesofcray]

AND WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK IS SEXY YOUR TASTE IS PROBABLY TYPICAL PORNOGRAPHIC GARBAGE

JUST HUMONGUOUS TITS FALLOUT OUT OF TANK TOPS AND EIGHT LAYERS OF MAKEUP

YOU'RE PATHETIC

I DON'T HAVE TO PLEASE YOU OR ANYONE ELSE HERE SO JUST SHUT UP

[himbomb]

wow! way to write me off, sweetheart

[If she were to have seen his long-time girlfriend, Fukawa would have certainly gotten quite a few things wrong. Eve, while tremendously gifted in the looks department, no doubt, is slight of frame and fairly natural. If one were unaware of her limitless power and strength of heart, she'd seem almost delicate.

Then again, he did cheat on her with Kate, who might be a spitting image of Wanda from the Magic Schoolbus... But is also thicc af]

i like all kinds of girls!

[And a few boys, although he prefers them to be pretty too.]

@mehitabel

[catsy]

No one IS forcing you.

[himbomb]

[Weird username. It sounds like one of those long ass angel names from the Bible.

Rex makes a note of it and takes the opportunity to look through the directory before responding, resulting in a delayed response. So many things about her profile suggest a myriad of common strengths- Infiltration, acrobatics, pickpocketing, and martial arts.]

well, what have you been survivin off of

mostly i was makin nice to the old matchmaker chicken

[Many of Rex's fellow heroes, the kind from the straighter, less down-trodden paths, are the types to frown upon theft without question. For him it was necessary, and even moreso, it became something of an art after a while. Another skill with many useful applications.]

the one who's tryin to get her son hitched? pawned a few cookies offa her

but that shit's definitely not gonna cut it 4ver

text; un: seance.dawg

[superflighty]

Having a bad day?

[himbomb]

[Oh, how Rex loathes Invincible. How he despises him. Of course the other boy would ask this overly sentimental, kindergarten baby-ass question right out in the open! He will paint himself as the likable hero in contrast to Rex's cantankerous villain once again. Fucking son of a-

Actually, he takes that back. The kid's mom sounds like a nice lady who is still doing her best to be there for her son while his father turned out to be both a duplicitous and murderous bastard, so um. He won't drag the poor woman into it.]

yes

[Then again, as much as Rex hates to admit it, he appreciates being checked on.]

i smell like eau de DEAD RACcOON BABY!!!

[Hygiene and adequate grooming are staples for Rex. Mark has definitely woken up to the older boy yelping as he plucked stray hairs from between his brows. The young man needs his beauty rest to feel, well, beautiful.]

n i probably look like one 2 i can't sleep

[superflighty]

_{[ As someone that shares camp with you, he can confirm. But he isn’t going to verbally express that. ]}

We are all in the same predicament same as you, Rex. I can assure you nobody is thinking about how you look or smell.

It doesn’t give you the right to lash at out people, though.

_{[ he’s referring to the other people that responded, especially Toko? Yikes. Go easy on her. ]}

[himbomb]

so ur gonna lecture me in public now, or what

[To be fair, he is fighting fire with fire, there.]

my business? is e x a c t l y that! mine

fuck off

[superflighty]

You're the one who started complaining on the network, publicly, where anyone can reply and say what they want.
I think it's interesting you're doing this when you got bitchy at me for being hungry.

[himbomb]

so? let me complain! let me make a big ol stink about it. that’s my problem!

[Translation: Mark is right and he has absolutely no defense for that.]

if i shut up i feel like shit, if i try and talk it out with other people i feel like shit, and whenever i look at you

[He is reminded of his own weaknesses.

Every single one.]

all i see is a teeeeeny tiny baby bird! waggin its stupid lil wingies at me

y’know! if cry cry birdie suddenly opened its mouth and could shoot a buncha laser beams out of it! oh, oooh! and could also bench press a gODT daMN BUS?!!!!