un: WHEATLEY - video

[testgasm]

[Having more-or-less adjusted to his new limbs (how nice, limbs, especially metal ones that don't squish), Wheatley finds himself a little smug, even if he's not entirely coordinated or entirely comfortable with this situation. He will pretend to be, and that’s what matters.

Here’s one for all the people who kicked him or shook him or picked him up without his permission when he was an orb. He’s still an orb, but now the orb is on top of a metal body, with arms and legs and everything.]

Check me out!

[He doesn’t seem to be an holding e2-issued phone, or anything really, because he’s waving into what seems to be a mirror in one of the vacation car spas—the logical conclusion is that he is recording and broadcasting this with whatever kind of camera lives in his eye-face.]

Pretty nice, right? Got a little notification on the network program, up here, thought I’d give it a little look-see, and bam! Arms and legs! So, that’s neat. Certainly thoughtful of whoever runs this place. I suppose there's some—some appeal. Thumbs.

[Look he’s doing it he’s giving a double thumbs-up.]

Anyway, thought I should publicize this new development. For all the, uh. For everyone who carried me everywhere, thanks very much, and— [This part sounds a little malicious.] —also for everyone who thought it was a good idea to kick me, or drop me, or knock me around. No more of that. Putting my foot down. I have those, now, I can do that.

I suppose, if it's necessary, I could still—I can explain robots to whoever still needs that explained to them, though honestly if you haven't caught on by now I'm not sure there's hope for you.

[Cough.]

Right, that's all! Just wanted to pop in with that update. Thumbs. And, also. Legs. Walking. Love it. Very cool.

Comments

un: susiezilla

[snarkattack]

Nice. Do you have enough fingers to flip the bird?

[Susie asking the important questions.]

[testgasm]

Flip the-- [Give him a second] --oh. Oh! Yes, I think so? If it requires an odd number of fingers. That is, four fingers, one thumb. Hang on.

[He--he's counting his fingers to himself.] One, two, three, four...and the aforementioned thumb...let's see--ha!



[Hooray! Now give him a second to realize what he's doing, and put it away, all flustered and stuff.]

Wait--wait! I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. That would be--that's rude. Sorry.

video | skywalker

[unrepentant]

Wheatley! Congratulations! How's the view up there?
[He thinks he's so funny]


They look great- are they fully articulated?

un: ben | video

[onlyhope]

You can really say you're standing on your own two feet, now.

[ sorry wheatley, anakin had to learn it from somewhere ]

un: bombaf; video

[himbomb]

Nice legs!

[In this form, Wheatley looks a lot like the first thing Rex had ever blown up with his own hands- A robot, dorky and fairly sentient, who had been doing his best to explain how the little superboy's new powers worked. Ah! Memories. That's nostalgia for you!]

Can ya do the splits with 'em?

[It's a petty little challenge, but he is curious.

He's also testing a theory.]

[testgasm]

Oh, just--tremendous. I wasn't really programmed to know what I was missing, but, whew! This is a lot to take in.

[He likes to be tall.]

Seems that way! Couldn't tell you who built it, or uh, where it came from, but I'm not going to complain.

[testgasm]

Yes! Doing it right now, in fact. Two of them. No more speaking figuratively, in that department. All literal, from now on.

[testgasm]

[He's squinting. All of this is very suspicious.]

I don't know. Probably. Not a very economic use of movement, though. Seems...unnecessarily dramatic.

[snarkattack]

[Susie just laughs at that. A hearty guffaw.]

Am I the first person you flipped off? That’s great!

[testgasm]

[LOOK WHAT YOU MADE HIM DO!!!]

No!! No, it's not great, I don't want to be going around making rude gestures. I mean, thanks for--for being a good sport about it, but I probably won't do that again, if it's all the same to you.

[snarkattack]

Why not? Check this out.

[The voice switches to video feed and Susie is giving Wheatley the good ole double-deuces.]

What the point in hands if you don't use them.

[himbomb]

Really? Oh. I can think of a guy who fits that description.

[Like an irritating little gnat, Rex cartoonishly moves his index finger this way and that, almost having it land on himself, until he finally points it in the direction of his phone camera.]

...Like, aaaah..

You for example.

[he says... fixing his hair as he admires himself in the reflection??? sir, that is the definition of Drama]

[testgasm]

[Wheatley rolls his eye--he is exactly as dramatic as he needs to be, thanks, especially considering that until very recently he was at everyone else's mercy. The great thing about arms and legs is that he doesn't really need to play nice anymore.]

Okay? Get to the point, mate, I'm not going to waste my new body sitting around here and talking to you.

[testgasm]

There are other things you can do with hands, you can--

[He is now thinking about all the things you can do with hands.]

Hold things. Hitchhike. Point at something you want in the store.

[snarkattack]

Or you can just use them to take what you want at the store. Or hold a cup of water. Or, like, battery acid. Whatever you robots drink.

[Yep, there certainly are many uses for hands. Which Susie is belatedly realizing how dumb this conversation is.]

So, uh. Congrats?

[himbomb]

Wow, someone's all high and mighty now that they've got their own revenge body.

[He seems unbothered by Wheatley's ire, aware that the little robot's irritation towards him is entirely his own doing. Wheatley's pluck is charming, and while Rex has been specifically designed to take out loads of potentially lethal robots in a matter of seconds, he would never dream of hurting this cute little rascal.

That is, unless he starts killing people. And that can't happen. Wheatley is too gosh darn adorable. He's just sassy! Not evil, right?

Or at least, that is what Rex believes.]

My point? Oh, oh! You meant that kinda point.

[🛑✋

✝️🙏]

I'm afraid I got nothin' pal. It's just nice to see you so geeked out about somethin'. I'm happy you're happy!

[Rex's tone is always the slightest bit impudent, but he means it. It really is nice to see Wheatley having a blast.]

[testgasm]

I suppose I could do that, but then it would be stealing, which I'm told is, ah. Illegal. And I don't drink, so. Not even battery acid.

But thank you, though, it's appreciated.

[unrepentant]

Yeah [A huff of a laugh] I wouldn't either.

Well if you ever need repairs you know who to call. But I'd be happy just to admire the craftsmanship.

How's walking been? Tried out any inclines yet?

[onlyhope]

I am very impressed. I take it you're feeling alright? Everything moves as it should?

[testgasm]

Yes! I did--I did have you in mind. Sorry if that's presumptuous of me. Doing my very best not to break it, right off the bat, but seeing as we just came from a train car full of dinosaurs, all bets are off.

The walking is...fine. It's going well! Better every minute! Taking it, uh. One step at a time. Both figuratively and--and literally, if you know what I mean.

un: 000

[kahunanu]

oh. you evolved.

[testgasm]

no????

i just got plugged into a new chassis that's all

[kahunanu]

could be worse. good for you.

[testgasm]

what do you mean could be worse

[kahunanu]

[ Like, ok, he knows Wheatley isn't a Pokemon but also it's really hard to not think of him as like a Pokemon so now Nanu has to either backpedal or try to gracefully explain himself. ]

if you were a pokemon [ nice great good nailed it ] you could go about that in a whole lot of different ways... growing in size or getting stronger or extra limbs, i mean.